


Regrets

by Shiruke_Lightheart



Category: Akudama Drive (Anime)
Genre: Doctor takes advantage of his poor mental state but maybe sees a little more in him too, F/M, Hoodlum loves Brawler but we all know what happened to him..., I saw that split second scene in the preview for next week and got dramatic so I wrote this, I'm a major Hoodlum simp and the last few episodes have been hurting me, M/M, Yearning, implied sex, spoilers for episode 9?, talking about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27762697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiruke_Lightheart/pseuds/Shiruke_Lightheart
Summary: After being forced to come along by Doctor, Hoodlum ends up sleeping with her. As things calm down afterwards, he finally has some time to try and figure out the mess of emotions that has been his mind ever since Brawler died...
Relationships: Brawler/Hoodlum (implied), Doctor/Hoodlum (implied)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is or where it came from. My brain has not been able to stop thinking about that scene from the preview and my Hoodlum-simping heart is aching and very confused about what to feel so shit happened and this oneshot basically wrote itself.  
> Waiting for next Thursday to see what is going to happen is gonna be so painful T_T

Regret. That was the first feeling to wash over him as the tingling feeling of pleasure slowly subsided…

“You know, you’re not half bad.” His eyes were pulled towards her naked form as Doctor got up from the bed and wrapped a robe around her, hiding the many scars he had discovered she had all over her body. “Especially for someone like you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” he asked as he pushed himself up in a more sitting position; his body felt sluggish, partly from the exhaustion of running for days without any decent sleep and their previous activities, partly from all the different emotions that were coursing through his body the last few days and were starting to take their toll on his body now too…

“Well, considering how buddy-buddy you were with Brawler I assumed you,” she made a swinging gesture with her finger to illustrate “swung to the other side.”  
Imitating her gesture, Hoodlum replied “I swing to both sides. Gender doesn’t play a big part for me…”

Never had he expected to have a casual conversation about his sexuality with Doctor of all people; he remembered hiding from her behind Brawler just a few days ago when she threatened to cut open his arteries… But now Brawler was dead, Doctor had betrayed all of them and he had somehow ended up sleeping with her, not that it was much of his choice. If it hadn’t been for her almost crushing his private parts with her heel, he’d have ran away as soon as possible, that was all he was good for anyway, running away time and time again.  
If only Brawler had listened to his idea to run away together that day, he might still be alive now and he wouldn’t have ended up in this mess.

She threw him his underwear that had ended up somewhere on the floor of the bedroom and said “That’s a pretty big frown, thinking about your dead boyfriend again?” in a teasing tone.

“He wasn’t-”  
“But you wanted him to be, didn’t you?” she pressed on when she heard him protest.  
“It’s not like that…” he said looking down, at this point not even really believing himself.  
“Don’t think you can fool me, I saw you calling out to him in Expo park even after he died, and I’ve heard you mutter ‘bro’ in your sleep. You’re noisy,” she told him as she disappeared into the bathroom connected to the room.

Hoodlum sighed, she was probably right…   
He put his underwear back on and laid his head to rest on one of the soft pillows on the bed and pulled the covers up over his body. He was sweaty and he felt filthy after having sex with Doctor, but the exhaustion was winning over anything else he could possibly be feeling right now.

He was thankful for the food and the bed Doctor provided him with, he even gave in to her pushing to have sex with her because he thought it might be a welcome distraction from the mess of emotions in his head. But even though his body had felt great, his mind was still fogged up with sadness and regret and he felt even worse now. He should’ve never given in to Doctor like this, he felt bad for ignoring his feelings for Brawler and doing intimate stuff with someone he didn’t even love. It’s not like he was cheating on his Bro, they never had anything in the first place and he was dead, but it still felt that way…

“What am I supposed to do Bro…” he muttered out to the empty room as buried his face into the pillow some more. His heart ached and he felt like his life could only go downhill more and more like it had been going ever since Brawler died. If only he had never gotten wound up in this stupid operation in the first place, he would still be peacefully sitting out his four year sentence in jail now…

He would’ve never met any of the other Akudama and his heart wouldn’t have gotten crushed because he wouldn’t have known Brawler. But then again, the days he spent with Brawler had been some of the best days in his life despite the constant danger; he had finally found someone that had believed his stupid lies and viewed him as someone important like he had always wanted to be…  
Life was cruel for him and ripped that person away from him as soon as it had the chance though, it had always been that way and it would always stay that way. If anyone had deserved to die out there that day it was him, not Brawler.

Doctor exited the bathroom after her shower, the steam that hung heavy in it escaping with her “Do you want to-” she wanted to ask the man she had slept with if he wanted to take a shower too, but found him asleep on the bed already.

When she ended up on that mission with the other Akudama, she could’ve never predicted having him of all people sleeping in her bed; but then again, he was probably the most decent guy out of the group to have some fun with. He wasn’t as stupid as Brawler, wasn’t as emotionally constipated as Courier or as creepy as Cutthroat. He was a coward, yes, and he didn’t strike Doctor as someone who’d even be interested in women to begin with, but in the end he knew what he was doing and had been able to satisfy her and that’s what really mattered, right?

She sat down on the bed and looked at the man softly sleeping next to her, he looked weird without his hair styled in its usual ridiculous style, but it wasn’t a bad look on him. She reached out a hand to brush some of the longer locks out of his face but the moment she tucked some of it behind his ear, his face instinctively leaned more into her touch. It had been clear to her from the moment she saw him falling for Brawler so quick after meeting him just because he gave him the appreciation he needed that Hoodlum craved love and appreciation and had obviously never gotten much of it in his life.  
 _‘All things considered, maybe he is kind of cute…’_


End file.
